A retired magical girl trapped in a Windows 95 screensaver.

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Magical girls aren't supposed to grow up. After sacrificing themselves to secure victory over a powerful threat to the universe, a young Five woke up in a cyber-cosmic hammerspace on another plane of reality. By scavenging through lost possessions that appeared in the world from time to time, they eventually managed to build a computer and, to their surprise, discovered the realm itself had a pretty good internet connection. Maybe an eternity in purgatory wouldn't be so bad, after all...

...then, nearly two decades later, the sentient sandwich showed up.

patron saint of akratic temporicide. your friendly neighborhood escapist. slowly but surely getting too old for this shit. fuck engagement/metrics culture, we throwin' our shit into the void now.

my name's fivetail! I'm a 32-year-old Canadian(-American) neurodivergent nonbinary POC. that's just a fancy way of saying I'm an old depressed mixed kid with ADHD whose gender is Joker Persona 5 and whatever the hell Cybersix had going on.

as a terminally online recluse who does a little bit of everything, I have an uncanny knack for carving out my own micro-spaces in the digital world and meeting some really cool people along the way. most of them even still like me!

here's a shortlist of some things I'm proud of: